In Matt 19:5-6, Jesus says: ‘FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH’. “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” There is so much truth and wisdom in this teaching. It means ‘leave’ and ‘cleave’. In Gen 2, God created Adam first, and then Eve. He brought Eve to Adam and ordained that they be joined together in holy matrimony.

He said that the two of them would become one flesh. The term “one flesh” comes from the Genesis account of the creation of Eve. God created Eve from a rib taken from Adam’s side when he was asleep. Adam recognized that Eve was part of him—they were in fact “one flesh.” The term “one flesh” means that our bodies are one whole entity that cannot be divided into pieces but remain whole. God intends this with the marriage relationship also.

There are no longer two entities (two individuals), but now there is one entity (a married couple). This is a picture of marital intimacy—the act of love that is never to involve anyone other than the spouse. To “cleave” means “to adhere to, stick to, or join with.” It is a unique joining of two people into one entity. It means, we do not quit when things are not going right. It includes talking things out, praying things through, being patient as we trust God to work in our hearts, being willing to admit when we are wrong and asking forgiveness, and seeking God's counsel regularly in His Word.

If either spouse fails to both leave and cleave, problems will result in a marriage. If spouses refuse to truly leave their parents, conflict and stress result. Leaving your parents does not mean ignoring them or not spending any time with them. Leaving your parents means recognizing that your marriage has created a new family, and that this new family must be a higher priority than your previous family. If spouses neglect to cleave to each other, the result is a lack of intimacy and unity. Cleaving to your spouse does not mean being with your spouse every moment or not having meaningful friendships outside of your marriage. Cleaving to your spouse means recognizing that you are joined, essentially “glued,” to your spouse. Cleaving is key in building a marriage that will endure hard times and be the beautiful relationship that God intends it to be.

We have been married for the last 21 years and I still find it fresh and new. “They lived happily ever after” sounds so true in our marriage. Of course, there are ups and downs in our life but we depend on God to sustain us with showers of blessings from heaven. Today, when many marriages are going through turbulent times, it is worth considering some points that are very basic and essential to the institution of matrimony. I regard these as the ‘secrets of happy married life’. Therefore, what are the secrets of a happy, married life. There are many, but I found the following (all my own) most important of them all:-

1. Accept:
God created man and woman differently. Physically, man is stronger, and more often thinks with his head. But the woman feels with the heart. They are not equal and cannot be. They are complimentary to each other i.e. just like sugar and milk, in a cup of tea. Man is the head and the woman is the heart of a family. Therefore, in a marriage, acceptance of each other, with all the flaws and imperfections, is vital. When a man and a woman realize this concept, it is bound to lead to a better understanding of oneself and the other, creating harmony in the relationship.
2. Respect:
When I was young, I had made up my mind to hold in high esteem and respect the woman that God would give me. I had decided that whenever I get married, I would treat her as a friend, a partner and she will be my soulmate. She would not be a door-mat or subject to subordination. I still do that and accept and review the views and suggestions of my wife and most of the time, after due consultation, we agree to a decision. It brings about peace in a couple and over a longer period of time, it promises a union of thoughts. Many times it has happened – when I think of something, she speaks it out and when she is thinking, I speak it out.
3. Love:
If you want your marriage to be blissful, love should be a constant. When we were engaged, she was my sweet-heart and for many years, after marriage, she was my sweet-heart. But today, she is my heart-beat. I have to continuously proclaim my love for her. Every night (most of the nights), I have to pronounce the 4 golden magic words “Darling, I love you” when I go to bed. Love is like a bridge between a husband and wife, to be wellmaintained and serviced daily. As you grow older, beauty will fade and strength will cease, but a marriage based on a strong foundation of love, will sustain till death.
4. Above:
God should play a central role in any healthy marriage. The grace of God is so important in a marriage that it can help to weather any storm, sickness and disturbance in a marital relationship. Praying together also acts as a calming effect and surrendering to the one above, strengthens the bond of unity in a couple. Trusting in God for all your needs is so important and being satisfied with what you have, will shield you from the heart-aches and desires of the material world. Spiritual life (I thank God for MIPC for giving us the spiritual food) is like a wall, surrounding a marriage, protecting it from the principalities and powers of darkness and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. We need the armour of God so that we will be able to stand firm against all the strategies of the evil one.
5. Give:
Giving of oneself to the other is of primary importance. Both should be available to each other to satisfy their physical urges within the parameters set by the Catholic Church. When the woman gives herself to her husband unconditionally and the husband is careful enough to show care, concern and respect, the marriage grows stronger. Giving quality time to each other to listen and to speak is very helpful besides giving gifts and surprises as per the capacity.
6. Forgive:
I believe ‘forgiving is healing’ not only in marriage but in any relationship. In a marriage, forgiving is focal and fundamental because you are one entity and cannot live in hurt. It should be instant (like 2 minute noodles) or on the spot. Yes, it is difficult but not impossible, with the grace of God that he has given in the Sacrament of Matrimony. Forgiveness brings about peace and harmony to both the parties. It acts as a vaccination to many modern day maladies like hyper-tension, stress, depression, etc. Transparency in marriage promotes trust in the relationship, and the two can share and overcome their daily challenges.
7. Money:
In marriage, money is important, but not essential. During our engagement, I was in debt as I had purchased a flat in Mumbai, and I told my prospective wife, in no uncertain terms about my financial status. They say “Love is Blind”. But no, she was not blind in love, but had faith in me and I, had faith in God. Today, I drive a dream car, live in a dream house, work in a dream job, belong to a dream parish and am in the core team of a dream prayer group. Here, I would not like to boast of what I have, because I was born and bred in poverty and charity and the Lord, in his generosity, turned my life, into prosperity.

Truly, the Lord has blessed me much more than I can ever deserve. This is purely his generosity for which I am ever thankful to him. Indeed, the words of the Lord are very true - “I came that you may have life and have it abundantly” John 10:10. Praise God!

Apart from the Gospel, much of our suffering would seem gratuitous and even sinister. St. Bonaventure said, “Suffering is like a kiss that Jesus hanging from the cross bestows on persons whom He loves in a special way. Because of this love He wants to associate them in the work of the redemption.”

We live in a world that flees from suffering. For many people, suffering is viewed as an evil without value. Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen wrote “Pain, agony, disappointments, injustices - all these can be poured into a heavenly treasury from which the anemic, sinful, confused, ignorant souls may draw unto the healing of their wings.” Suffering is of such inestimable redemptive worth that nothing equals it in heaven or on earth.

Jesus told Saint Faustina: “If the angels were capable of envy, they would envy us for two things: one is the receiving of Holy Communion, and the other is suffering.” Placing endurance of suffering at a higher pedestal, Jesus told Saint Faustina, “You will save more souls through prayer and suffering than will a missionary through his teachings and sermons alone.”.

Just like mine, your pain and suffering could be used as opportunities for “crediting” graces and blessings into the “World Atonement Bank (WAB)” or “heavenly treasury”. Our “deposits” could attract high dividends for us, our near and dear ones and even those we have never known yet and may never know until the time we meet them in heaven. People needing conversion and repentance, physical healing and having other needs could receive “showers of blessings” when you and I offer up our despair and suffering. Unlike in the case of normal deposits in a bank account, the benefit accrues not only to the depositor, but is disbursed among cross sections of people leading to salvation and eternal life for many. Similarly we could offer up brokenness, frustration and failures instead of cursing them and all those around and becoming prey to the tactics of the evil one.

Why don’t we then make it a habit to “offer up” every bit of suffering and despair in life to the Lord in prayer? Why waste them? When we offer it up, it gets credited into the WAB or heavenly treasury and its benefits get disbursed to all the needy ones. On the other hand, the intensity of our own pain and despair gets minimized. You may find it difficult to believe that the surgery I went through this time was a totally painless experience because I had “offered it up” to the Lord in prayer. We could do the “offering up” as the first item as we begin the day, during the Mass or personal prayer. “So, whatever you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God” (1 Cor 10:31). Many have developed the habit of consciously offering up to the Lord the day’s joys, sufferings, sweat and toil (except sin) in the morning itself. It could also be offered up during the Offertory Rite at the Mass.

We could do this more specifically whenever we come face to face with suffering. It could be done by saying a simple prayer: “Lord, use my pain for the conversion of … (naming the person, group of persons, a nation, etc.)”. We could emulate St. Therese of Lisieux and make every suffering a bead in the “Sacrifice Beads” for the salvation of souls. (St Therese of Lisieux carried a small string of beads in her pocket to help her count the gifts she offered to God each day. When she would practice a virtue, she would secretly reach into her pocket and pull a bead to Jesus.).

I would like to conclude with a beautiful story by an unknown author. A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and howthings were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, “Tell me, what do you see?” “Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, “What does it mean, mother?” Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity – boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water around. “Which are you?” she asked her daughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?”

Are you the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity wilts, becomes soft, and loses strength? Are you the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Does your shell look the same, but on the inside are you bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart? Or are you the coffee bean actually changing the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain? When the water gets hot, the coffee bean instead of cursing the circumstance, releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you become a channel of blessing and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity?

Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Become a coffee bean, deposit sufferings into the heavenly treasury and become a channel of blessing!

We are a fortunate generation to have witnessed the canonization of two Saint Popes simultaneously for the first time, in Church history and the day April 27, 2014 was a red letter day as it was a day when God poured out His Divine Mercy on the Popes - dubbed by faithful worshippers as “the day of the four Popes” a first ever in the Catholic Church, As two living Popes were present and involved in the canonization ceremony of two Saint Popes!

Pope John XXIII was born Angelo Roncalli in Italy in 1881. He was ordained a Priest in 1904, and was made Patriarch of Venice in 1953. He was chosen as successor to Pope Pius XII, on October 28, 1958 at the age of 76, and not expected to have a long rule and hence, so was considered a stop-gap Pope from whom not much was envisaged. However, he turned out to be a much loved and dynamic Pope, who was affectionately known as “Good Pope John” the convener of the Second Vatican Council in 1962, which brought about radical changes in the Catholic Church, bringing it into a modern era by allowing the Mass to be celebrated in the local languages of their countries, rather than Latin which was the official Church language, thus making the Mass more meaningful. His prayer for a new Pentecost and the outpouring of the Holy Spirit, ushered in the great CATHOLIC CHARISMATIC MOVEMENT which revolutionized the Church, and which we are all a part of today, thanks to his vision.

The refreshing winds of change were like a breath of fresh air in the Church which at that time, was considered in a state of stalemate and dead. That very year, Pope John XXIII was also named “Man of the Year” by Time Magazine, as he was considered a Peace Maker after defusing the Cuban missile crisis. It is fascinating to note, that while he was Papal Ambassador to Greece, he helped many Jews escape from the Nazis, by issuing them transit visas which showed his good and compassionate heart. He also encouraged dialogue with people of other Faiths, particularly the Jews. Thus he laid the cornerstone for Inter-faith meetings and understanding. He died in 1963 of cancer of the stomach after a short but fruitful Papacy.

Pope John Paul II was born Karol Wojtyla in Poland in 1920. He was the second son of good, fervent Polish Catholic parents, at a time of political turmoil in Europe. He was ordained a Priest in 1946 and became Arch- Bishop of Krakow in 1964. His election at the age of 56, as successor to Pope John Paul I, who died suddenly in 1978 after a very short Papacy, was a surprise gift of God to the Catholic Church.

In 2004, his papacy became the third longest ever in the Church’s history. His Papacy was fraught with many tribulations and controversies which rocked the Catholic Church due to various issues and abuses by the hierarchy, yet, he is considered one of the most influential leaders of the 20th Century, the most travelled and outspoken opponent of apartheid and most importantly, he played a pivotal role in bringing an end to Communism in Europe! In his youth, he witnessed the evils of Nazism in his native Poland, and in his early years of priesthood experienced the horrors of Communism. As a result, throughout his papacy, Pope John Paul II was considered a strong opponent of all forms of Totalitarianism around the world. So his election in 1978 made him a beacon of hope to those who were trapped behind the Iron Curtain, encouraging them to demand change.

He was instrumental in launching the widely popular ‘World Youth Day’ which invigorated a new generation of Catholics, and is a much looked forward to event held in different countries every two to three years. He also defended the Core-Church teachings of the turbulent 1960’s which heartened the Conservatives. He is also known as the ‘Pope of the Secret’, and now the Saint of the Fatima Secret, for in 1984 he consecrated Russia to the Immaculate Heart of Mary, at our Lady’s request to Sr. Lucia of Fatima and ushered in the collapse of Communism, saved Russia from Atheism and entered a period of Peace as promised by our Lady of Fatima. Russia suddenly had a surge of tolerance for religion and respect for Christians, reopening many closed Churches and those that were turned into museums and entertainment halls.

In 1993 Pope John Paul II recognized the International Catholic Charismatic Renewal Services (ICCRS) as a body for the promotion of CCR, with a juridical body and he was a great Charismatic himself, besides having a very charismatic personality which drew people of all walks of life to himself. He exuded holiness, goodness and love, which drew people to him like bees to honey, from babies to old people. He had an aura about him that is shared by Saints, thus making him a living Saint who was admired for his perseverance in sickness and tribulations, for his all round abilities of sportsmanship, dramatics, amiability, and was a linguist. His death in 2005 of a heart attack, after a prolonged illness, brought much grief and sadness to the Church.

Pope Francis, in his homily at the canonization Mass said that both the Popes were men of courage, who lived in times of tragedy, but were not cowed down by them. They as Saints are great examples for us to emulate. A piece of skin of Pope Saint John XXIII and the blood of Saint Pope John Paul II are kept in silver vials, and are presented for universal veneration by the Church for the first time after being declared Saints. Pope Saint John Paul II’s normal stipulated period for declaration of a Saint was waived off by Pope Benedict XVI, who initiated the proceedings and Pope Francis hastened it, thus we have two more Saints in heaven to pray and intercede for us and continue their work of Miracles for their faithful followers of the Church.

Let us remember to call on them in our times of trouble as proofs of the efficacy of their miraculous intercessions, which have already been experienced by many. Remember to call on “Papa Johns” in your time of need and you will surely be blessed indeed!

Not that our Confirmation teachers did not do a good job of preparing us well for this Sacrament, but that it all amounts to the fact that the Third Person in the Holy Trinity is not as understood as it should be. I remember my Confirmation teacher advising us all to ask for a gift of the Holy Spirit, simultaneously informing us that we wouldn’t receive it immediately. She was right. In my experience, everything happens in God’s time- and to receive my own gift of the Holy Spirit- certainly took time AND took faith.

But that is the whole concept behind the Holy Spirit- a concept so wonderfully mysterious and yet so simple- that it can only be perfectly and concisely explained by Chapter 8 of Paul’s Letter to the Romans. Before reading this chapter, I had several questions, being the inquisitive teenager that I am like, “Does the Spirit lie within us? Does it always live within us; do we have control over it? What has God entrusted to us through the Spirit, anyway?” And as if they were several people like me to answer, Jesus seemed to have so exceptionally clarified all my doubts through His Apostle Paul’s writings!

But when I kept reading on, I struggled at comprehending a particular verse, “Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly…”(Rom 8:23); and kept thinking to myself , “What could these ‘first fruits’ possibly be?” The nagging college girl in me prompted me to leave no questions unanswered. Determined to be a fruitbearing disciple of Christ, I spent the next few days hunting Scripture and praying for a spiritual breakthrough. Again, I was helped by the Word, soon enough. One fine day, while I was directing my thoughts to this very quest, I found my answer while stumbling over (Gal 5: 22-23), “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, humility and self-control”.

So it was here that I came to my conclusion- the Holy Spirit was a gift of God (in fact, during Pentecost (Acts 2:38), Peter comforts the Israelites who mourn Jesus’ death, telling them that the Holy Spirit is the gift that He has left behind) and it has gifts of its own for us- which we can exercise because God has granted us free will! However too often, sin hardens us and renders us spiritually blind. And this only becomes more evident when we leave our spiritually comfortable Christian home and go to live away, for college or work- and only then the Spirit comes to our rescue. The difference between spirituality and religiousness is now unmistakable to us- we may mark our attendance at Church service every Sunday morning but we may not necessarily walk with the Spirit!

Just as Mary is our protector, the Holy Spirit is our ultimate Guide in our never-ending spiritual journey. The truth is, if we feel close to God right now, there is a good chance we may not feel the same later. After all, the closer you are to God, the great opposition you are likely to feel! Achieving spirituality is a non-stop process and since it obviously becomes difficult to attempt so single-handedly, having accountability partners for the same works best-it may be a church friend, a youth ministry leader, a catechism teacher, a cousin or even a Bible study friend!

Throughout the Word, we see the Paraclete takes several forms, and reminds us that Christ’s death was good because it brought the Spirit down to guide us. In all His Pentecostal glory, we have much to learn from the Spirit- and what better place to start, than from the Word? Firstly, I’d like to think that the Spirit helps in renewal of the self, after all He arrived when Christ had already died for our sins. What only the Spirit and nothing else can help us achieve- is the winning of the constant war within. One day, we’re on a spiritual high, the other day we’re tested and we’re on a spiritual low with Christ. Our spiritual journey with Christ is no regular than rainbearing winds. And so the Spirit, teaches us to fight and help ourselves retain our faith against all odds. Since the Spirit dwells within us, and moves in our midst just like Jesus once did, He delivers an exceptional spiritual identity to us- after all we were created in the image of God! But when we let the Spirit walk in our midst, we must be aware that things shall be different- because the Spirit’s gifts may not be in accord with our human passions (Gal 5:17). And this is something we realize all too easilyas most of us suffer from the youth disease of “The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak”.

Turn the golden pages of the New Testament and you’ll rightly recognize that the Spirit is a Helper, most mysterious indeed (John 14:15-16), the revealer of the Truth (John 14:17), the ultimate promise of Christ (Eph 1:14) and the Director of our lives (Gal 5:16). Continue flipping and you’ll discern that we’re expected to have a gentle and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:4), a steadfast spirit (Psalm 51:10) and perhaps a Mary spirit rather than a Martha one.

God is Spirit and He dwells in us as one - so let us accept this blessing and make His home in our hearts. The Spirit lets us be the host for a change so let us start living in the Spirit! “The helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you everything and make you remember all that I have told you”(John 14:26)

I was deeply disturbed as I had to stay alone in this country and felt that I should quit my job and go back to India.

There was an inner voice (Holy Spirit) which stopped me from doing this. I used to attend mass daily and prayed to God to reveal His plans. I joined Single Ladies Cell and had constant prayer support from my cell sisters. I also requested the intercessory ministry to pray for my husband’s job and health. My parents, brothers, sisters, sister-in-law, brother-in-law and friends also prayed for him. With the prayer support of my family members, my cell group, intercessory ministry and friends, my husband returned back to Oman and he has a good job and his health is also improving. He also joined the MIPC ministry. I would say that joining the cell group has drawn me closer and closer to God. When we meet every week there is a always testimony to share within us in our cell.

We had to walk long distances in Holy Land. I had quality time in prayer with the Lord and was spiritually filled with the Holy Spirit. But I never felt the pain during this trip.

After I returned from Holy Land my left knee was in severe pain. I could not move and I was alone in my flat. I had brought blessed olive oil from Holy land which I applied on my knee and felt little relief. Next day I consulted a doctor in Muscat. Well, he asked me to take an X-Ray and I took the X-Ray. When the doctor saw my X-Ray, he told me that I have arthritis. Fear crippled me, however, I saw another doctor in Mumbai for a second opinion. That doctor gave the same diagnosis that I have arthritis. He prescribed multi-vitamin tablets for six months. I took these tablets for six months, but still the pain did not subside.

I had hope in my Lord; I knew we have a greater doctor and our healer in Lord Jesus. In the Bible we read, Jesus healed a crippled man, Jesus healed a Lame man, Jesus gave sight to blind man. With firm faith, assurance and truth in my Lord I prostrated before the Altar and prayed at the Tabernacle. First two days my knees pain was severe, but I didn’t lose hope, and on the third day again I knelt down and prayed after which I felt there was no pain as I had received the healing. Praise the Lord! And till date my knees do not pain and no sound from my knee cap. I was completely healed. Praise the Lord! Our Lord took three years to heal me. Luke 18:1 (NKJ): Delay is not denial.

I give all glory, honor, praise and thanks to my living God - the Jehovah Jirah, my Provider.